Hi Mark,
It was great to get your email today!
Even though we haven’t talked for a while, I’d been praying for you—as I know others have as well. That’s why it was so great to get your email saying that you’ve come to believe in Jesus. I’m grateful to God for what he’s done to you and for you and I pray that he would continue to have mercy on you as you grow in your love for and understanding of him and find your way in his kingdom. I’m happy you emailed me, and I hope we can continue this conversation!
In your email you said a couple things that stuck out to me. The first was when you said, “The whole thing was a little strange. It’s like I went from not believing in the truthfulness of Jesus and then a second later my whole mind (even maybe my heart) changed about him. I think I can even say I started to love him for what he did for me. I can’t believe someone I’ve never met would die for me!”
I’ve got to say, that’s a wonderful description of what happens to someone who’s had the experience you had of being born again. I know you haven’t spent much time (at least much serious time) in the Bible, which is why what you said stuck out to so much. You described in your own words what the Bible says happened to you.
A lot of the time our felt experience is something a little off from what actually happened. It’s similar to someone talking about his or her experience of being on a roller coaster. A weird example, I know, just roll with me for a minute. They may describe the experience of being out of control and dangerous when in reality even though they weren’t in control there was total control within the ride itself. And even though they may describe it as being dangerous, the ride restrictions don’t even stop little children from getting on the ride, so it couldn’t have been that dangerous. The same thing applies to those who are born again.
They may describe it as looking at the evidence, weighing the options, and making their own solo decision to believe. What they’ve left out is what God had been doing throughout that entire process. Even before the process they described.They don’t describe how God had opened their eyes and changed their heart so that they would believe in Jesus, because they didn’t directly have that experience. The experience you described of not believing one second and then feeling as though your mind (or even your heart) changed is exactly the behind the scenes action that the Bible describes. I praise God that the way you describe your experience is so true to the testimony of Scripture.
The second thing you said that stuck out to me was actually a series of statements. You said, “How can I be sure this belief won’t disappear as quickly as it came? One second I didn’t believe and the next I did. What about when I go to sleep tonight? How do I know I’ll still believe in Jesus when I wake up?”
Your questions are common. I don’t point to their commonality to diminish them, but to solidify them as important. As you speak with others about their experience (both new and seasoned Christians) you’ll hear these same kinds of questions. I’ll do what I can here to give you my take on them.
In your statements you asked, as far as I can tell, one main question: How can I be secure in my new faith? I’ve been convinced that the answer to that question lies not in looking to us, but in looking to God. To put it bluntly, if it were up to you or me to make sure we believe tomorrow, we wouldn’t. It’s as simple as that. You and I don’t have what it takes to keep our faith on our own.
This is not a shot at people; it’s just the truth. The wonderful thing is that even though we can’t keep our faith, there is one who can—God. He’s the one who saved you and he’s the one who will keep you. How can you go to bed tonight knowing you’ll believe tomorrow? Because God does not save people just to lose them later on. In fact, there’s a better way to put that. Jesus himself said, “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand” (John 10:28). This is Jesus’ way of saying that if he (i.e. God) has saved you, he will keep you saved. So, you can take a deep breath and trust him. He found you, he saved you, and he will keep you.
I’m really happy to be speaking with you again. It had been way too long!
I hope to hear from you again!
Your new brother in Christ,
Kevin