“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.” (Ephesians 5:28-30, NIV)

We often hear that husbands ought to love their wives as Christ loved the church. But, that’s really only half the statement Paul made.

He begins that particular section of Ephesians 5 by telling his readers how Christ loved the church. Jesus gave himself up for her and, in so doing, made her holy by cleansing her with water through the word. He did this and then presented her to himself as a radiant church, free of stains, wrinkles, or any other blemish. Because of Christ’s work, she—the church—was and is now holy and blameless. That’s what Jesus did and Paul says that husbands ought to do the same thing.

Love your wives just as Christ loved the church.

Husbands are called to lay their lives down for their wives and our example is Jesus. A question remains, however. A question that’s at the center of what I’m thinking through with this meditation.

Why did Jesus do that for the church?

Thankfully, Paul tells us.

He begins by telling us that husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. Husbands, when you look at your wife you should not be seeing her as another person (in some sense), but as so connected with you that her body is your body. In other words you two are one. This leads to Paul’s next statement that he who loves his wife loves himself. Which makes perfect logical sense. Since you and your wife are connected as if you are one, to love your wife is to love yourself. And…to dishonor and not love your wife is to do the same to yourself.

Paul then adds another layer of significance to that statement by making the point that no one ever hated their own body. The natural inclination in people is to protect and value themselves as worthy of protecting—that is, unless there’s something else going on. We feed our bodies and care for our bodies. It would have been inconceivable to Paul that a husband wouldn’t treat his wife as he would treat himself. For a husband to treat his wife in a manner unworthy of the calling is to misunderstand the union between them—the union of marriage.

Lastly, and this is where it comes together for us, and Jesus, and the church, Paul tells us why Christ laid himself down for the church.

In brief, it’s because we are members of his body.

The church is the body of Christ. Those who trust in Jesus are members of the church. And Jesus feeds and cares of his body, so he will certainly do the same for his church because the church is his body! We—you and I—are members of his body (the church) and the church is his bride. Jesus cares for his bride. He cares for his bride because his bride is a part of him—it is connected to him—it is his body.

Therefore, husbands, love your wives as your own bodies because they are.